Whats jokes
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
Kid !: What are you doin? Kid 2: Laying in my bed! Kid 1: Naked? Kid 2: Yes Ld 1: Show me! Kid 2: Its dark! Kid 1: Still show me! Kid 2 Ok-
Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!
What’s an orphan’s least favorite event? Their birthday!
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?
They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don’t care if she has one.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!