Whats jokes
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.
The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.
The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.
LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?
Toothpaste.
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."
Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
Q: What type of flowers do orphans hate? A: Mums.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have? 10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"