Whats jokes
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
What did the priest say to the other priest during baptism?
"We better clean our sex toys before we play with them."
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
HARRY POTTER MEMES
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
What does Ben 10 call his wife?
Humungouswhore
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
What's the first rule of Wank Club?
Don't shake hands with anyone else in Wank Club.
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One's a superhero, one's a command.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
A man goes into a job interview and sits down.
The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"
The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"
The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"
The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
What’s the difference between women and condoms?
There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.