Whats jokes

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?

Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.

"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.

What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?

Adolf Fit-ler.

Dad joke time:

What do you call a cow in an earthquake?

A milkshake.

What do bats like to eat?

Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂

Friend: Eric, spell mouse.

Eric: M O U S.

Friend: Yes - But what's on the end of it?

It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.

What's the difference between acne and a priest?

Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.

A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."

What’s the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked!

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.

Normal girl stating her opinion.

My name is Jade Harris. I don’t know if you guys know it, but “rape” jokes are really starting to get sexist and could lead to people getting raped. IT IS MY OPINION PEOPLE DON’T HATE ME! 😡. People are talking about how men are better than women, but men and women are both good. Someone posted about how they hate the media being about women and other bull crap, but fuck it, I hate the media being about both genders. And people sound like fucking rapists here!!! Some boy did story time and then said women are weak and I can rape a women if I feel like it and shit! But no one knows what it feels like to be a women? Only women do. 😠. Women have to have kids with men of course, but it is hard to be a like that. 1. We grow up just the same as men, and men don’t always get judged for dressing except for that stupid pants were we can see your underwear shit, which is pt style. Women are the ones who pay the bills, lose half of there energy and MOST of the time take care of the kids and work for a living men do too. But women get raped and harassed and molested and sexual assaulted/battery/abuse, and when a women wants to dress up how she feels she gets slut shamed for it. So really being a women is harder will being both genders are. Facts!!!

What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...

We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost.

So as they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun." And the man from New York said, "Bring me a gun as well!"

The guy was confused but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For the France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shooting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, "Well...sh!# that didn't go as planned."

What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?

The chicken is actually used for something.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?

You cry when you cut an onion.

What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

"Beat it. We're closed."