Whats jokes

What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.

Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.

Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.

What do you call a baby Mexican? A paragraph because they aren’t a full essay.

What's the square root of 2001?

9/11

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

What has two wings and an arrow?

The Chinese telephone, wing wing, arrow.

What’s the difference between a Black dad and a Pizza?

One can feed a family.

What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.

Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?

What?

A nail gun!

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked, and the other doesn't.

What is better than a paralympic gold medal?

Walking! 😂😂😂

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression f**ks you harder.

What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, they both fell.

What do you call an orphan who became a priest?

Father-less.

What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?

Nothing, he was hanging.

What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.

What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?

Someone gets hurt.

Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?

Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?

What’s the difference between a puppy and a fork?

I don’t microwave forks.