Whats jokes
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Memes
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What were Steven Hawking's last words?
Error 404 File Not Found.
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?
Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?
How much did the haulla-cost?
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
What's one thing gay people can't draw?
A straight line.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.
Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: You're both!
Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.