Whats jokes

What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?

Fingering A minor.

What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?

They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"

God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."

What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"

When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."

What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?

Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!

My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

I answered, "Happy."

The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.

What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?

How much did the haulla-cost?

What were Steven Hawking's last words?

Error 404 File Not Found.

What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.

Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.

Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?

Boyfriend: You're both!

Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?

Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A: How do you breathe through that little thing?

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.

A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.

He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."

He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."

Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

What's one thing gay people can't draw?

A straight line.

What's long and black? The line at KFC.

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?

An orphan has all their teeth intact.

What is a reversed exorcism?

It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.

What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?

Roamin’ Numerals.