Whats

Whats jokes

Suicide

What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?

The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.

Key

What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.

Present

What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...

Penguin

What's black and white and black and white and black and white and red and black and white and white and black and red and red and black and red and white and black and red and red and red and red?

A penguin in a blender.

Memes

Abortion

What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?

They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”

Dildo

What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.

  • 1
  • Fruit

    Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.

    The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.

    They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"

    Bill

    What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."

  • 2
  • Exorcism

    What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.

    Racist

    What happens when an asian with an erection bumps into a wall? he breaks his nose

    Baby

    What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.

  • 3
  • Vegetable

    What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.

  • 6