What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
Whats Jokes
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass.
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What happens when an asian with an erection bumps into a wall? he breaks his nose
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
