Whats jokes

What do you call a train with bubble gum?

A chew chew train.

Oh man, I'm depressed.

What do you call depressed Sesame Street?

Emo's World.

What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween?

Free delivery.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lickalottapuss.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

What did the rapist say to his victim?

"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”

I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.

What’s the best part about twenty-eight year olds?

There’s twenty of them.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?

Guardian of the confessional booth.

What’s ten feet long and bald?

The conga line in the cancer ward.

What made me laugh?

The fact that my life is a joke."

What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?

A baked potato.

What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

A depresso espresso.

JK.

It's cyanide.

What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?

Splattered.

What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?

Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭