Whats jokes
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
What do you call Joyce when she's running from the Russians?
Winona Hider.
What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!
What do you think of the Bill Cosby movie?
Netflix and alcohol.
What do you call a gay emo kid?
Fruit Ninja.
Wait what???
What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?
"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"
What do you call a person in a wheelchair in a burning building?
Hot wheels! 😎
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup? A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
What is the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Some smile, others beam.
Hi 👋 I have some good idea 💡. What was the best game I’ve [played]?
What do you call a Vietnamese antivirus scanner?
An-Thi-cho-rho-na.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
What do cells always have on them?
A cell phone!
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school"?
What’s better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.