Whats jokes
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
What's the most expensive haircut in the world?
Chemotherapy.
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
What happened to my screen...
What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.
What is a priest's favorite song?
-- Magic Flute in A minor.
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
What's similar between a priest and McDonald's?
They both shove their meat in between 10 year old buns.
what do you call it when you get married in Panera Bread?
Panera Wed.
What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?
Guardian of the confessional booth.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea.
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."