What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker
You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
Whats the laziest mountain
Mount Ever-rest
What's both red, white and sometimes purple My arms...
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? RC-XD incoming.
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common? blowjob is anonymous
Whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out
What is long and not hairy??
The congo line in the cancer department
Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds?
They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns
What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair
What does a rock and a girl have in common? The flat ones get skipped
"Monica Lewinsky has went down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"
"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, dont'cha know?"
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
Q: What's the best part about gardening? A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “what do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed. Most women can’t pull off sarcasm
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest? Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
last night i burned down an orphanage there was one survivor who said i would regret it i said "what are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair
