Whats jokes
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Memes
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"