Whats jokes
What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to ten trees.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Memes
Look at it, it's a soulless green glob.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.
What do you call a horse rider with Down syndrome?
Down Quijote.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A ffsshh.
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
What is Africa's most famous sport?
The Hunger Games.
I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag. I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.