Whats jokes

I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag. I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?

They're both "sweet home Alabama."

Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?

Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?

Son: Mom, what is money made of?

Mom: Paper.

Son: Where does paper come from?

Mom: . . .

what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?

one has a point.

Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.

Friend: What were the tests about?

Me: Japan.

What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

What is black and white and is dead?

My Chemical Romance.

What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "Together we can stop this shit!"

Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?

Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

What's the best part about having emo grass?

It cuts itself!

What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE

You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.

What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?

Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?

Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!

What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister?

You better not lay a finger on her!

What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.

Robin: "The car's not working."

Batman: "Did you check the battery?"

Robin: "What's a tery?"

What country do French Fries come from? Grease.

Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.