Whats jokes
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
Memes
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
What was the one test Stephen Hawking couldn't pass? The beep test.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.