Whats jokes
What do you not bring to a paparazzi? A balloon.
What do you call a herd of winning cows?
A topside.
I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
An investigator!
what you get
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
I got my math test back today. I am Asian and raised in an Asian household, so I was worried about what I was going to get.
I got a 95%.
I'm having warm dinner tonight!
P.S. True story, lol.
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
What is smaller than my dick?
Nothing.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
The parents remember 9/11.
What is a woman?
A walking vagina who nags.
What came before the dinosaurs?
Your hairline, because it's so far back!
What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.
What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.
What do you get when you cross a car with a woman?
A transmission that never shifts.
Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.
What is the national bird of Iran?
An American drone.
What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?
The thief knows what you have!
What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?
They both fell on my dad.