Whats jokes
What is your body like? Soft.
What is written on the gravestone of a TV reporter?
"You must be back at 8:00 p.m."
What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?
Faithbook!
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
What type of music is a balloon afraid of? Pop.
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
What’s Kobe’s favorite rapper?
NLE Choppa
Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.
What is the motto of left-wing authoritarianism?
We don't have one, so you don't need one.
What's an orphan's least favorite T.V. show?
Family Guy.
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"
"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."
"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"
"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
"Prince, why that girl, not me! What about me!!!!!!!"