Whats jokes
Aha, tomato macaroni is bad, hahaha.
(I don't even know what on earth I put here, but okay.)
What's a Jew's favorite drink?
Mountain Jew.
What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
El, if I know.
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid.
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
What kind of pizza did the Twin Towers order?
Nothing, it was just plane.
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
What is long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
What gets wetter as it dries?
A towel!
What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?
They both go "Ping" when they are done.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
Answer: The family tree!