Whats jokes
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
What is an orphan's family portrait called?
A self-portrait.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
Memes
What do a politician and a minister have in common?
Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.
Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.
Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!
Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.
Teacher: What was that?
Alex: Flew the plane.