My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Whats Jokes
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
What is an orphan's family portrait called?
A self-portrait.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.
Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.
Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!
Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.
Teacher: What was that?
Alex: Flew the plane.
