Whats Jokes

What is the New York fireman's favourite song....

It’s raining men

What is a pedophiles favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.

Q: what does LMAO mean?

A: Launching Missiles At Orphanages

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.

what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb

What is the most expensive haircut? Chemotherapy

You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine

What is the difference between a climate change and the green house effect once a philosopher twice a sodomite

Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

The rooster says.. cock a doodle doo The prostitute says.. any cock will do

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

What's the difference between a blonde and a masqueto?

A masqueto stops sucking when you slap it

What were the terroist of 9/11 thinking?

We can’t go over it we can’t go under it we'll have to go through it

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?

Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.

what did the woman with no hands get for christmas? no idea. she hasn’t opened her present yet.

*on a date* me - "I get to work with animals all day" her - "How sweet! What do you do?" me - "I'm a butcher."

What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine

What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What is worse still? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It went back for seconds.