Whats jokes
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."