Whats jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?

Matt.

What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?

A milk dud 😂

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or No," she replied.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain.

What do you call a 90-year-old black man?

Antique farming equipment.

What is a cannibal's favorite food?

Crackers.

What do skeletons hate the most about wind?

Nothing, it goes right through them.

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."

"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."

Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"

After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.

They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

What do you call an Indian electrician?

Ashok 😂

What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?

Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.

So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."

What did one orphan say to the other? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.

What food does a cheetah eat?

Fast food.

What do you call a retard in a house fire?

Flame Retardant.