Whats jokes
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or No," she replied.
bro what?
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?
Matt.
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."