Whats

Whats jokes

Blackjack

What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?

They both hit me face down on the table.

Sister

Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.

Sister: No, I won't stop.

Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.

Sister: What? You will see when I post it.

Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?

Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.

Hair

I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?

Asian

What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.

What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.

Name

What’s another name for cumming in a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

Orphan

What movie do orphans relate to the most?

"Spider-Man: No Way Home." (Either that or Batman.)

Autism

What do birds and autistic people have in common?

They both flap their arms.

Bed

What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.

Cow

Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?

A: Lean meat.

Difference

What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.

Car

What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?

Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.

People

What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?

The no-bell prize.

Role

What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast.