Whats

Whats jokes

Teacher

The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.

The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."

Priest

Q: What’s the difference between a priest and McDonald’s?

A: Nothing! They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.

Sex

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?

There's twenty of them!

Taco

I always talk to my taco before I eat it.

One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!

President

What happened when Obama ran for president?

The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.

Beethoven

Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?

Answer: Beethoven's last movement.

Man

What is a definition of tight?

A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."

Difference

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?

Both of their legs don't work.

Rape

Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.

Am I funny now? Because this is what you brainlets find funny.

Coffin

Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?

Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.

Butcher

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!"

SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"

HE: "I'm a butcher."

SHE: "We're through!"

Shoulder

What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

His shoulder.

School

This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.

1. Pencils

2. Binders

3. Paper

4. Pencil sharpener.

What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?