Whats jokes
"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."
The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."
What's green and furry?
Fiona from Shrek.
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.
What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?
Pant suits.
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
What did the baritone say to the alto?
Nothing, you couldn’t hear him.
What do we call a skeleton who has a ton of travels?
A skele-TON!
What did the triangle say to the circle?
"You're pointless!"
What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?
CHEESE-US!
Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"
What's a cheetah's favorite food?
Fast food!
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
What do sharks and humans have alike? The great white one.
What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
What is the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Some smile, others beam.
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
What’s an autistic person's favorite movie:
A Quiet Place?
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"