Whats jokes
What's a turtle's favorite thrill ride?
Shell shock!
What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?
I don't know... I'm from China.
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lick-a-lotta-puss.
What was Beethoven called when he only ate beef?
Beefthoven!
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
What did the stepbrother and stepsister do together?
Oof, mitosis!
What do you call a duck with no head?
Your mom gay.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?
What hype is this place out? Is it for the night? You cannot say what is a great night. I have a good night.
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush, but don't look down.
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?
Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.
Lenda: Hey, can you help me with my homework, please?!
Genda: Okay, and if I do, you won't make a fuss about it!
Lenda: I'll try!
3 mins later.
Genda: THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER!
Lenda: Then what is 90 million?
Genda: WHA WHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda mocking her: WHA OH YEAH YOU ARE A TERRIBLE TUTOR!!!!!!!!
4 mins later.
Genda: What is the capitol of watchington?
Lenda: Uh.....Idaho!
Genda being sarcastic: Yes...it is not the capitol of watchington...BECAUSE IT IS A STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda: Oh, you mean Iowa!
Genda: UHHHHHHHHHHHH CUSS WORD!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda: U can't help that I'm the smart one...okay sweetie now you go be dumb and I go be smart! LATER SISTER! Oh wait, can you help me with my homework?
Genda: NO! You the smart one so you do it!
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
What do you call a gay friend?
Miguel Del Rosario Domingo.