Whats jokes
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
What do you call a pregnant slave?
Buy 1 get 1 free.
Sonic says if you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What is Saturn's favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings.
What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
What do you call a fat motivational speaker?
Four chin teller.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What is the name of Hitler's WiFi?
The local Aryan network.
You know what I told my little brother plane?
What does a terrorist do when they see a twin?
They fly a plane at them.
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!
What do orphans and apples not have in common... The apples get picked up.