Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know what home is.
Whats Jokes
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
What do you call a dipshit?
A Charlie.
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's cellmate.
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.