Whats jokes
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?
The Daily Moos.
What is Godzilla’s least favorite ball?
A King Kong ball.
What show do orphans hate the most?
Fullerb
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
What college can Stephen Hawking not go to? Spelman University.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?
Slim Shady.
I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."
What was the last thing that went through PH's head?
Water and smoke.
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.
What do you call an orphan selfie?
A family photo.