Whats jokes
What is the definition of auto masturbation?
Fellatio.
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
What do you call Moby Dick's dad?
Papa Boner.
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
What hurts the most? 😹
A. Breaking up before chewing.
B. Breaking up after chewing.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Correctly spelled.
What is King Kong for dinner?
Humans.
What kind of shells do tanks use to cheat?
A-cheat shells.
Me: Hey! Look at my drawing of deez!
My babysitter: Very nice! But, uh, what’s deez?
Me: (¬‿¬)
What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
They live underground, except for the eagle. Lol.
What do Germans do to ask a question? They salute.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?
"Open Your Heart."
What did the shell say to the shell?
"Shell you later."
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.