Whats jokes

What can't a sniper say to his wife?

"I missed you."

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head and Shoulders.

What do you call a flying pig?

Fiction.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!

What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

A rooster clucks defiance!

My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?

A. Sunday school!

Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.

What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?

The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.

What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?

A sissy.

What’s your favorite food? Chode in the hole?

Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.

What is the difference between chocolate and sex?

I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.

What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?

Chocolate carrots balls.

What did you call a school that got blown up?

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?

What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

Get it?

What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?

"It won't be long now..."