Whats jokes
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
What is a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?
Before the first period.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
What do you call a flamingo with 20 toes?
A flamingo.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.