Whats jokes
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white?
Alive.
What would the world be like without women?
A pain in the ass.
What do an Apple and an Emo have in common?
They hang from trees.
What do you call a gay French man?
A faguette!
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.
She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”
“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.
“Exactly,” replied the mom.
What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter?
Only one came out of the chamber.