Whats jokes
A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"
The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."
Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉
What's the definition of suspicious?...
A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀
What do you call a blind German man?
A Nazi.
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?
Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.
Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly.
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
What did the bread photographer say to the toast? Say, "Toasted cheese!"
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
What do you call a Chinese millionaire?
Cha ching.
What do sharks and humans have alike? The great white one.
What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?
You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.
I read the joke "what we breathe is called oxygen, that is African food" to my African friend, but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.