Whats jokes
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
What is Thanos's favorite video game?
Pokémon Snap.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
What did the beaver say to his son?
Dam, son.
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
What's the best thing about beating up orphans?
They can't tell their parents.
What's better than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?
I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?
With a degree!
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.
What is an alien's favourite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?
Answer: A hooker.
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"