Whats jokes
Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
What’s the only type of batteries that they use in prisons? Duracell.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.
What is this joke?
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA, the other is USB. 😂😂😂
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman and falls in love with her.
Man: "Hey, cute lady!"
Woman: "Leave me alone, you ugly two-faced man! I already have a boyfriend."
Man: "Not for long!"
And then the man shoots the woman's boyfriend.
Woman: "How dare you murder such a beautiful man!"
Man: "Now you shall be my girlfriend."
Woman: "Never."
And then the man takes the seat that the woman's boyfriend was sitting in before.
Man: "You look like a dream."
Woman: "Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly women? Bleuch!"
Woman: "What's it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men?"
And then the man orders flowers and candy.
Bartender: "We don't serve flowers, or candy."
And the man shoots the bartender.
Another man can't believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man and throws him out.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Pssh.