Whats jokes
What does the Bible stand for?
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.
I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.
... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
What do you call a grown-up orphan? Homeless.
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
What month has 28 days?
All of them.
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?
What is a pig’s 🐷 favorite pie 🥧?
Mississippi Mud.
What do you call a cow with all of his legs? High steaks.