What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
What do you call a cutta with ginger hair?
Flinn Taylor.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
What do you call a pool full of retards?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call a guy on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.