Well jokes

What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.

You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...

Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.

Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?

It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."

Someone in my class yelled "Jenga!" while watching a documentary about the Twin Towers.

Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.

Popular girl: Sorry I'm late.

Teacher: Why are you late!

Girl: I need my beauty sleep.

Nerd: Well, you might need to hibernate because you ain't pretty.

Hey, how ya doin'?

Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"

I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.

And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.

Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

Students: Hiding under desk.

Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?

Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.

A man was taking a child into a dark forest.

The child said, "I'm scared!"

The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."

An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.

Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!

I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

My brother said, "You want a cookie?"

One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."