Well-being jokes

Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.

My mental health.

You fighting? More like you're dying!

What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.

Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?

How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

"Hey, Prince, I want to say, "Don't die, I love you!"

When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.

Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"

*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"

Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.

That’s why no one will be hurt.

Imagine being depressed. Couldn’t be me.

I help suicidal people.

BTW verb not adjective.

"kys" (keep yourself safe).

What is a depressed kid's favorite game?

Hangman.

This isn't really a joke, but I HAVE PTSD, YAY! :)

Yo mama so gay, she almost passed away.

You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?