Well-being jokes
How do you get a depressed man out of the tree? You cut the rope.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My life.
My life who?
My life is depressing...
For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.
Happiness.
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
Take care of yourself
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Coff- na, jk, bleach.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
Wanna know why I don’t make suicidal jokes?
Because I am one.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
Well, being an American is just a joke itself.