Well-being jokes
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
We’ll be back.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
What's a depressed person's favorite game? Hangman.
Hello, everyone, how is your day today?
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
Bros got barcode arms.
Hi, how are you? Are you good?
I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...
Hello everyone, have a great day and be positive!
What is the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak.
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
MAGAnon STOP SCAMING FOR THE SAKE OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do depression and suicide have in common?
Nothing, they're both hanging.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!