Well-being jokes
If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"
*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
What's a depressed person's favorite game? Hangman.
Hello, everyone, how is your day today?
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
Bros got barcode arms.
Hi, how are you? Are you good?
I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...
What is the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak.
Hello everyone, have a great day and be positive!
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
MAGAnon STOP SCAMING FOR THE SAKE OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
What do depression and suicide have in common?
Nothing, they're both hanging.