Well-being jokes
Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,
I hope you're fucking happy.
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
Happiness.
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
What is a depressed kid's favorite game?
Hangman.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.
This isn't really a joke, but I HAVE PTSD, YAY! :)
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
We’ll be back.
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!