Well-being jokes
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
What do you call my sister?
Suicidal.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
Don't commit suicide, that would make DJUNGELSKOG sad!
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was depressed.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
Hi, how are you?
Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
We’ll be back.