Well-being jokes

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.

My attempt in 2021.

And my attempt this year.

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?

Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.

Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.

If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.

Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.

Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.

I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.

Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.

I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.

Just kidding.

Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

How do you get a depressed person to jump?

Put them on a bridge.

My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!

Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.

How to not exist: Kys.

A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."