Well-being jokes

What do you call a depressed person's life?

At this point, nonexistent.

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?

Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.

If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.

Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.

Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.

I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.

Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.

I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.

Just kidding.

How do you get a depressed person to jump?

Put them on a bridge.

My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!

Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.

How to not exist: Kys.

A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."

How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.

How to get rid of your depression:

1. Stop self-pitying.

2. Realize you can't.

3. Fucking deal with it.

You're welcome.