Well-being jokes

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?

Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.

What do you call a depressed person's life?

At this point, nonexistent.

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.

My attempt in 2021.

And my attempt this year.

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.

If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.

Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.

Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.

I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.

Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.

I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.

Just kidding.

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

How do you get a depressed person to jump?

Put them on a bridge.

How to not exist: Kys.

Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.

My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!

Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.

How to get rid of your depression:

1. Stop self-pitying.

2. Realize you can't.

3. Fucking deal with it.

You're welcome.