Well-being

Well-being jokes

Lamp

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.

Lamp

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

Suicide

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

Time

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.

Life

What do you call a depressed person's life?

At this point, nonexistent.

Attempt

Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.

My attempt in 2021.

And my attempt this year.

Ceiling fan

If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.

Ass

Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.

Wheelchair

I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.

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  • Momma

    Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.

    Living

    Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

    Opinion

    Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.

    Suicide

    A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."