Well-being

Well-Being Jokes

People

Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.

Patient

A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”

“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”

Christmas Tree

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?

Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.

Booty

Why did the booty go to therapy?

It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.

Quote

Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...

Suicidal people

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

Depression

How to get rid of your depression:

1. Stop self-pitying.

2. Realize you can't.

3. Fucking deal with it.

You're welcome.

Depression

It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.

Starvation

Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!

Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*

Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.

Life

Another joke, I know they suck.

What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.

Depression

If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.

The kid just hangs there.

Lamp

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.