Weight jokes

Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.

Fatty and Skinny sitting in a bed.

Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.

Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

You are so skinny, you probably wipe your butt with floss.

Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.

Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny

Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.

"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

Your mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family.

Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.

Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"

You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.

Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.