Weight jokes

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.

Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

Yo mama's so fat her belly button has an echo.

"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

Your mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family.

Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"

Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.

You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.

Yo mama so fat, when she went sky diving everyone screamed "METEOR!!!"

You're so fat that I run around you for exercise.

Yo mama so fat, the last time she 90210 was on a scale.

Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.

Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.