Wedding jokes

Orphan

Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

Funeral

My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..

They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.

School shooting

Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?

'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.

Funeral

At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.

Funeral

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Memes

Orphan

Why can’t orphans be married?

Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.

Seafood

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!

Incest

Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!

Divorce

What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?

"May divorce be with you."

Funeral

My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.

Orphan

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.

Fairy Tale

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

Router

Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.

People

When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.

Marriage

Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔

Sister

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.