Wedding jokes

Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..

They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.

Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?

'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.

At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!

A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.

Why can’t orphans be married?

Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.

Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!

What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?

"May divorce be with you."

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.

Why do melons always have big weddings?

Because they cantaloupe!

When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.

Who did the bee 🐝 marry?

Her honey!

Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.