What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
Wedding Jokes
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was tiers.
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."
At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
Mayonnaise marry me?
Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
Who did yo mama marry?
Joe Mama.
A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."
Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.
"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?
"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.
Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.
Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"
Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
Which is the worst place to sit at in a wedding?
Between 2 buttcheeks.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Mary."
"Mary who?"
"Marry me!"
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
When a lady gets married, what does she borrow?
She borrows her husband's last name.
Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!
My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
