Wedding jokes
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.
Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍
After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.
Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?
Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring.
Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Why can’t orphans get married?
Because they were already given away.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
I was always poked and told at weddings your next...
So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.