Wedding jokes
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964, we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam.
Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.
Two antennas met on a roof and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
For the encore, we'd love to tell you a construction joke but... we're still working on it.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding...
...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically, "No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
Who did yo mama marry?
Joe Mama.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
Why can’t orphans be married?
Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
Why did the bee get married?
Because she found her honey.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."
Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!