Weather jokes
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.
Texas be like everything is bigger here: guns and winter storms!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob.
You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
I set fiya to the rain! Wait, no, that ain't possible, what... I evaporated the rain!
Why was the stadium so hot?
Because all the fans left!
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
What is a tornado's favorite game?
Twister!
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
You're like a cloud. When you go away, it's a beautiful day.
Friend: What fly's and cry's?
You: A cloud.
What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?
*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!