Weather jokes
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"
Texas be like everything is bigger here: guns and winter storms!
Why did Texas freeze to death? Because they're retarded.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
Yo mama so dumb, when Fox Five said it's chilly outside, she brought a bowlllllll!
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
Why do orphans love tornadoes? Because they always pick you up!
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.
Ur mum's queef was like a fucking hurricane!
In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.
Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.