Weapon jokes
Bullets.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"
Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"
Officer: "Ok!"
*silence*
*explosion*
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?
Special forces.
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
VOTING SEMIFINAL 1
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”.
Vote for the better joke.
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Vote for the better joke.
I gave a blind man a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen.
Me at the Anti-Orphan Jokes convention. 💣🗡🔪🧨🔫
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.