Water jokes

How does water say hi?

It waves.

What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?

Dam!

Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?

Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!

Why was the sea so friendly? Because it gave a little wave.

So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."

One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.

The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."

Jack and Jill went up the hill, Had some fun. She forgot her pill, And now we have Jonny!

Nobody:

Titanic: sYnCccCc

Iceberg: yAaaYeEee

People: yAaanOooO

Ocean: fUuudD

What do you call a kid in a hot tub?

Vegetable soup.

The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.

Can I get a glass of water? I will give you anything you ask.

Really, then give me a pond of water.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pail of water.

Jack came down, and then Jill came tumbling after, so they had a baby...

Your mum sunk in the pool because she had a big butt.

You know that I drink water, right? I drink water because I am water. Water is water.

The "W" in Africa stands for water.

I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.

My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.

What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?

Nothing, they're both receding.

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

Why are midgets constantly thirsty?

They can't reach the drinking fountains.