Water jokes
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
Have you ever had African water??
Neither have they.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of kids.
Why was the sea so friendly? Because it gave a little wave.
When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)
What happens when you throw water on Stephen Hawking?
He says, "Oh fuck fuck fuck!"
What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?
Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!
Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?
Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
How does water say hi?
It waves.
So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."
One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.
The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."
Nobody:
Titanic: sYnCccCc
Iceberg: yAaaYeEee
People: yAaanOooO
Ocean: fUuudD
Can I get a glass of water? I will give you anything you ask.
Really, then give me a pond of water.
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pail of water.
Jack came down, and then Jill came tumbling after, so they had a baby...
What do you call a kid in a hot tub?
Vegetable soup.
I was looking forward to some toast...
So I took the toaster in the bath with me.