Water jokes
What do you call my brother in the water?
"Tsunami."
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"
What was the African kid with water called...? The lucky one. 😭😭
People in Africa have earth, fire, air, but never water.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
What do you call a rapper who can't swim?
A FLOATER!
What is a dry swimmer?
Not in the water...
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz."
The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*