Water jokes
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
What war did Africa not win? The water fight.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.
What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
The Arabian Sea is in which state?
Liquid.
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
"I wasn't that drunk yesterday."
"Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".