Water jokes
How do you boil holy water?... You boil the hell out of it!
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
RIP boiling water. You will be mist.
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean.
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.