Water jokes
My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.
What did the water say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
There is no "W" in the word "Africa," just like there is no water.
I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.
You know that I drink water, right? I drink water because I am water. Water is water.
NASA recently found evidence of water on Mars... Mars 1, Africa 0.
What war did Africa not win? The water fight.
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the milk.
There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.
Now that's a hell of a ghost story!
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Toaster + Bath = The ultimate bath bomb!