Watch jokes
Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.
So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
Me: Mrs., can I read my book?
Teacher: Sure.
Me: *watching my Chromebook*
I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.
Why can’t orphans watch clean nice content? Because they are family friendly.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because they have no parents to watch them!
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.
I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.
My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"
Why does Mini P.E.K.K.A. love pancakes? Because he is busy watching explicit content involving the Archers and Firecracker.
Back the halls with gasoline, la la la la la.
Light a match and watch it gleam, la la la la la.
My school is burnt into ashes, fa la la la la, la la la la.
Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?
"Watch out, plane! Wait, really? I ordered pepperoni."