Watch jokes

Watching paint dry sounds like a thrill compared to spending time with Slade.

Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

Back the halls with gasoline, la la la la la.

Light a match and watch it gleam, la la la la la.

My school is burnt into ashes, fa la la la la, la la la la.

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?

"Watch out, plane! Wait, really? I ordered pepperoni."

Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.

I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.

I don't know why my friends look disgusted.

I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.

Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.

Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.

Last week I went on a whale watch.

After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.

What were the balloon's last words to his Father?

"Watch me, Pop!"

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.

I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?

Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.