Watch jokes

What is the best way to make a leaf?

Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!

Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.

I don't know why my friends look disgusted.

Watching paint dry sounds like a thrill compared to spending time with Slade.

Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.

What do you do in India when you need to tell the time but don't have the money for a watch?

You bob your head from side to side like a metronome.

I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.

It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?

Why does Mini P.E.K.K.A. love pancakes? Because he is busy watching explicit content involving the Archers and Firecracker.

Back the halls with gasoline, la la la la la.

Light a match and watch it gleam, la la la la la.

My school is burnt into ashes, fa la la la la, la la la la.

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

Last week I went on a whale watch.

After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.

I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.

"Watch out, plane! Wait, really? I ordered pepperoni."

Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.

Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

What were the balloon's last words to his Father?

"Watch me, Pop!"

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.

I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.