Wash jokes
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
I think your hairline might have the hiccups.
Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.
I waved to you before, but you never sea me because you're so washed up.
Memes
DIS IS NUT FOR KIDS
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?
Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.
Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of the knickers!
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.
Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?
Last night I had the strangest dream!
I sailed away to China!
And I caught the coronavirus!
You said you needed to wash your hands!
Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!
And you said!!
Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!
Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!
Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!
A man with 20 dollars walked into Dave & Buster's. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"
Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
What do girls after sex with Pinocchio?
Wash off the birch sap from the face.